Why do I make mean comments I know are mean? Also why do I crave attention so much?

I'm new to this subreddit and I came here because I didn't know where else to go with this one. I have a bad habit of constantly pointing out things about people I've already pointed out before, and then saying it to their face. This just happened with my s/o, and I feel so awful. Say I have a friend, and they have a small yet noticable lisp. I feel the impulse or need to keep constantly making joke about it even though it's not funny. Does anyone know what's wrong with me? And also why am I so obessed with attention? I love getting attention a lot. Sometimes I imagine myself in horrible scenarios and I imagine people feeling sorry for me or comforting me or stuff like that. For example, I have a surgery coming up next year for a breast reduction and I'm excited. Not only because I'll be more comfident in myself and being able to wear clothes without issue, but also because I can't wait for people to see me during recovery and ask how I'm doing and doing stuff for me and feeling sorry for me. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. It's really getting to me. Does anyone have any opinions or answers on this? I also apologize if this is the wrong subreddit to go to. If this is the wrong one please tell me about the right subreddit please. I didn't know where else to go. Please share your opinions and possible answers. Thanks!