People around me are cheaters and this makes me fear commitment even more.

I 24 F never been cheated on, no. But people around me creep the hell out of me, my friend is cheating on her current fiancé not with one not with two but with three different guys, she talks about it with a full smile on her face and a laugh that makes my skin crawl, I know that this friend and her fiance are sexually incompatible and he ignores her needs but she could simply leave instead. My other friend cheated on her boyfriend with a man that doesn't even know how to respect people, the other simply kissed men during her vacation. When I worked in a reception some fathers that come to pick up their kids used to flirt with me or send me a request on social media. And my classmate is dating her auntie's husband.

All this filth caused me to run away from relationships and even dating, I don't give people a chance and it feels way safer.

I also feel like trash because they gave me a responsibility of "knowing their secrets" while looking at their partners in the eyes, and of course I cannot tell them because first I have no proof, second they'd believe them because well... you know couples.

I feel like cutting them all off completely, but I also feel miserable because I do want to build an emotional connection, I just can't.

I desire men and I love the idea of building a family with one, but I just keep a distance between me and them.