[F4F] Clumsy Yandere Girlfriend Loses At Her Own Game [Yandere Listener AND Speaker] [ADHD Speaker] [Clever Listener] [TW: Threats And Drug Use]

[DESCRIPTION]

You and your girlfriend are both yanderes and utterly obsessed with each other. Today is your anniversary and she has a surprise for you, not knowing that you also have a surprise for her. Are you gonna out-Yandere her…?

[MONETIZATION]

I ain't making a single cent off this, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't. Just give credit where credit is due.

[AD-LIBS & ALTERATIONS]

If you think you got a tangent or slight word change that'll make the script work better, that's great! Use it! All I ask is that 1) you don't change the overall story, 2) you credit yourself for making alterations to the script, and 3) you don't make any changes that promote bigotry.

[SCRIPT NOTES]

KIRI - The Speaker

HARLEY - The Listener

This script was written for King Kiri Random Stuff!

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Reddit Version (Below)

Somewhere out there, perhaps in a diner or the classiest of restaurants, HARLEY, the Listener, enters the scene and sees the love of their life, KIRI.

My love! I am so thrilled to see that you have accepted my invitation! Come! Have a seat!

HARLEY approaches the table and takes a seat.

Now, before we begin our evening, I just have a few things I'd like to say. First: Happy anniversary, darling. Ever since you stole my heart last year, you have become my world, nay, my universe! You have enriched my life such that should I lose you, I would lose my reason for existence.

HARLEY states that KIRI is making her blush.

Yes, that was the point. So often have you flustered me to the point of blushing, I was curious if you ever had the pleasure of being on the receiving end. Tell me, how do you like the medicine?

Though mildly uncomfortable, HARLEY is fine with it when KIRI does it.

So long as you enjoy it when I do it to you, then I shall continue making tomatoes envious of your face.

As it turns out, HARLEY doesn't understand what KIRI means by this.

Tomatoes. You know, the fruit that is traditionally red? Gets turned into a sauce for pizza and pasta?

That was not where HARLEY was confused. She now wonders if, intentionally or otherwise, she was being called stupid. KIRI quickly realizes that there might be a misunderstanding.

Oh, no! I would never insinuate that! I merely wanted to state how you would be blushing so much that the fruit that gets mistaken as a vegetable would be envious of how red your face would be should I tease you more. Speaking of, have you ever wondered what counts as a vegetable? They're rather ill-defined, and it gets stranger when we have more defined terms for pretty much everything we lump into the group of veggies. I mean, why would we say fruits and veggies when we can say…?

HARLEY asks why they are here.

Right! Why is it that I have brought you here? The answer is quite simple: It lies within the way we first met. For you see, darling, I propose that we play a little game. A battle of wits, as it were. You see, a weekend like this only comes once in a blue moon, a weekend where I have you all to myself. We're both stubborn women absolutely head over heels for each other, and you only deserve the best, so why spend hours debating on how we start our evening when we can simply remove the competition?

HARLEY is worried that KIRI is trying to break up with her.

Cara mia, no. I do not seek to end our relationship. You are my world. I would move heaven and Earth for you. Ask and you shall receive. I would only kill if you ask me to. I do not wish to kill you, nor do I wish to frighten you. I would never do that unless that is your wish.

So what was KIRI saying about a battle of wits?

Right, the battle of wits. If you recall, we first met at Parker's for Game Night. You were so radiant. The stars of the night sky were envious of the way your eyes were shining that night… And then you beat me at Tic-Tac-Toe. I was so furious… How could I lose to a beauty like you? But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that when I played, I played with a mind graced by the thought of you. As much as I love having you in my head, it did prevent me from thinking clearly. With that in mind, the game of Cones of Dunshire was set to be the stage where I would show you what a true tactician and game enthusiast was capable of! Games were what brought us together, and through a game shall we find a way to celebrate our anniversary.

Suddenly, KIRI brings out a pair of near identical ice cream floats.

Before you are two ice cream floats. On the surface, they are entirely identical. However, thanks to my connections, Robert has been kind enough to get me something similar to, but not exactly like, Iocane powder. Odorless, tasteless, only downside is that it resembles shaved chocolate, which would render this elevated game of a coin toss moot if I didn't sprinkle chocolate shavings into both floats. Alas, in order to make the game fun, I have. Pick the normal float, and you get to start this weekend however you like. Pick the fun one, and you'll be out cold for… I think Robert said an hour. Maybe it was closer to 94 minutes. Regardless, the fun one will leave you out just long enough for us to go to a cabin in the woods, one where there is no service for internet or phone calls. It'll just be you, me, and a wonderfully good time.

HARLEY suspects that the game is rigged. KIRI lets out a scoff of offense, though it is a mix of genuine hurt and playful teasing. Regardless, she goes on to reassure HARLEY. Unfortunately, she fails to notice HARLEY swapping the floats and adding to both floats a little surprise. This sound could be mistaken for silence or the sound of someone adding a bit of cinnamon or water to a drink.

Oh, don't you worry, my love. I may try to rig the game in my favor, but alas, I am only human. I have yet to build an immunity to the lovely potions in my arsenal. Plus, it's a bit more fun to know that I can still lose, even with my advantages. Now, let us begin our…

KIRI stares at the near identical floats.

Uh… Where did I…?

KIRI stares at the floats. HARLEY wonders if KIRI is bothered.

So… We might have a problem.

Whatever could the problem be?

I don't remember which one's the fun one.

HARLEY asks why that is a problem.

You see, my, uh, my original plan was to be this smug little serpent who knew which one was which. You pick a float, I would try to convince you it might be the other one, play this little mind game, make fun references to our relationship and the significance of the game, get in your head so that you may know how I felt during Tic-Tac-Toe, respect whatever choice you would make, and carry on with the weekend. Unfortunately, I cannot do that without knowing which one is which.

In HARLEY's eyes, KIRI didn't need to do all this. She is enough for her.

Well, uh… I wanted to do something nice for you. I may be the one lavishing you with gifts, but you're the one who takes care of me. Every time something gets to me, you're the one who keeps me grounded. All I can do is get you something corporeal that barely expresses how I feel. I don't even know if they mean anything to you. I mean it when I say that you are my world. You make life that much brighter. This game was the best I could come up with, and I can't even play it right.

HARLEY reassures KIRI that regardless of how she plays, KIRI will always be enough for her.

Are you sure that I'm good enough?

HARLEY kisses KIRI to let her know that she is more than good enough.

Well, no matter how this game goes, if I have to lose to anyone, I'm glad that it gets to be you. Cheers.

The two clink their glasses as though the spiked floats were the finest of wines. KIRI has some of hers, but then begins to notice a peculiar taste to it.

Out of curiosity, does your float have a… hoppy, nutty, foamy, and a surprisingly fruity note that lingers on the tongue? Mine does, and I'm wondering if someone spiked both our floats.

HARLEY's would probably be like that. After all, she spiked both floats.

You did?

With a little bit of Melange.

Melange… Such a fun word for such a fun drug… Thank you… For everything…

The audio ends as KIRI passes out, possibly collapsing onto the floor in the process.

[MISCELLANEOUS]

1. If you decide to fill the script, I would love to hear it!
2. Constructive criticism would be very much appreciated.
3. Have a nice day!