i think i might be aro but im in a relationship

I'm an afab nonbinary and asexual, dating a girl, we're both 20 and have been dating for over two years. We're each others first too. Before we started dating we had *something* going on for a few weeks, because I accidentally found out she has a crush on me (we were friends) and I wasn't opposed to the idea of trying things out. Nothing came from that, but after a year or so we actually started dating.

When we first started dating, my head actually got full of thoughts that I've made a mistake. I knew I was somewhere under the aro umbrella for a while, and at the time the best term I found was Greyromantic. I've voiced this to her, so she's aware of me being under the umbrella. Those thoughts had gone away at some point but now they're back and extremely loud, to a point I considered deleting my social media to avoid this issue (we're kinda long distance).

I'm at the point where I'm considering if I'm not Aromantic, and somehow confused myself two years ago with some nice idea of dating, because I always wished for someone special. But now it feels like my feelings towards her and my friends are the same. I'm allowed to kiss my friend platonically (she is as well, she even once said they could teach me how to make out lol), I cuddle my friends. The only difference I see is that my girlfriend is someone I'm supposed to spend my life with, like my friends are supposed to with their partners.

We've not been intimate, partially because I'm asexual but also because I have extreme issues with my body image. She understands this and doesn't pressure me, since intimacy isn't on her top list of a healthy relationship.

When my girlfriend talks about the future, she talks about us. But when I think about it, I only see myself alone. I don't like the idea of sharing beds with someone, coming home after a hard day and then be social with a partner.

She thought of going to a language school, and the one she likes is closer to my city. She asked if she could potentially crash at my place sometimes. I said of course, but in reality I felt this panic of someone invading my comfort place and I feel so shitty about it.

I'm afraid I have possibly wasted two years of her life for nothing. I have thought about enduring these thoughts since they went away the first time, but I'm also afraid of them coming back every once in a while. At that point I feel it would be disrespectful to her as a person, because she can find someone who will be able to love her properly without sometimes feeling like their relationship is a mistake. I'm just unsure of what to do.