Aio emotinal cheating and attachment problem

Hi, i dont know if im aio. My husband emotinal cheat with my best friend 6 months ago. After that i dig deep in what actually made it happen beacuse we was in a really good place in our relationship and he said that to before this happened. He gaslight me and was defensiv for months about the cheating. It become so intense so i have get diagnosed with c-ptsd. Since 5 months back i feel completely empty inside like im a walking shell. It started to get better after a couple of months. I didnt have several panic attacks everyday anymore.

We decided to try to Heal this and he said 2 months ago that one of the things that made him need validation was beacuse his mom made him feel insignificant.

She raised his brother to the sky even though he is a complete loser in life and dont take any responsibility for anything just run around like a stupid teenager even though he is over 30.

His mom and my husband ALWAYS fight with eachother. They have short good moments but she come with stupid comments and is very emotinally manipulative. As soon as someone say something that dont fit her then she can either dissapear for 1-2 days and refuse to talk to anyone or she lay in bed crying until my husband try to make it better. ( She is nice , helpful and loving between this drama situations)

I said to my husband if you think she has something to do with you start seeking validation from others how you ever gonna keep me safe then with her in our life.

He decided to go no contact with her. I keep the contact with her beacuse we help support her with money every month and also for sending picture on the kids. 2 weeks ago she had open another account on social media and write to my husband.

He felt like a bad son and person to not talk to his mom. He called her and my whole body felt like it died and at same time have panic attack. He notice this and said he would go no contact again. But i feel like a awful person to react on his mom. But for 7 years it have been drama even over the phone when they talk and his mood goes out on the family. And now after the cheating my body react severe on everything that feels like a threat to our calm life.

And honestly i got really sad and felt betrayed again when he called his mom he said before that she was one of the reason he cheated and then he let her in again in our life. I lost everything we have try to Heal this months and i feel so empty inside. Am i overreacting? And if i am how can i help my c-ptsd to not flip out every time he talks to her?

Should he have contact with his mom dont that become a threat to our relationship and our healing ? How anyone would handle this? I have not said he cant have contact with her it was his decision from beginning and when he called her last time i could not control my feelings inside to stop panic. So am i AIO?