First time noobie banishing spell (?)

Hey everyone, I’m new to this sub. I wanted to join because I really need some advice regarding Hecate.
To give you some background, and im sorry but im telling you rn im about to yap BUUT question at the end I promise
So I’m the oldest daughter in a strict Muslim household, my parents have always held me to high standards and been incredibly harsh on me for not being the way they want me to be. Growing up, their only answer to everything was just "pray to God, god will help, God will heal you. But my history with them, especially my dad is deeply traumatizing and evil to say the least. He has done things to me that are unforgettable. He's broken my bones, held a gun to my head, and pulled over on a completely empty highway just to beat me and hold a knife to my throat. This is a couple of many instances unfortunately and it’s just so exhausting to try to keep surviving. I can't even go to the police about it, because my entire family lives with him and none of them want that to happen, even though he treats them just as harshly. And I’m an adult now, but because of traditional family values, I’m still stuck living under their roof. He’s just as controlling and abusive as ever. The only difference now is that I’m older, so when he hits me, I just look at him with pure judgment and the energy in the house becomes this heavy, gray cloud. Whenever he "forgives" me for whatever minor thing I did wrong, he goes right back to acting normal, but I'm left carrying all this pent up rage and it makes me wonder .. where is God in all of this? Why hasn’t He looked down at my situation even once to help me? I’ve had to save my own life every single time. It messes with my head so much, and it has completely pushed me away from my religion. Now, I’m looking into alternative paths.
I feel kind of ridiculous and immature., not because of I’m looking into occult stuff, but because I’m an adult still dealing with childhood level abuse that I thought I’d be free from by now. I just feel totally helpless so my question is: how do I actually start with spells? I started reading up on freezing spells and banishing spells and I don’t know where to start honestly? I just want this man out of my life permanently. He’s no good to anyone; he just gets drunk every single night and turns into a total hypocrite, spewing religious nonsense. Any guidance would mean a lot.