I’m struggling to open my heart after this

I don’t want to go back, I don’t want a repeat of the same thing. I’d like to experience new stories; I’d like to fall in love again eventually. However, I’m truly struggling to trust people after everything that happened.

Whenever I get the chance to tell a friend or a family member how I’m feeling, my mind goes right back to that moment when I wrote her a 5-page letter and was completely ignored, when I was ghosted for months.

My mind goes back to when I would tell her I loved her and only get a "te quiero" in return or just silence (it’s just not the same in Latino culture).

I feel like my heart is a burden rather than a gift. After so many experiences like that, it really is hard for me to be vulnerable with someone else. Just remembering all of this still makes my stomach turn.

Has anyone else ever felt this way?