Forced into med school

hi everyone I’m 19f and when I was younger all I wanted was to be a doctor and then I started doing really well in school (specifically o levels and a levels) so everyone assumes I’m much smarter than I actually am and my dad implanted the idea in my head that I’m going to be a doctor but by the time I got to senior year I started questioning everything and I realized I didn’t want to be a doctor I wanted to study English and become a journalist but when I said this to him he absolutely refused and I’m middle eastern so you pretty much live with your family until you get married I can’t move out and find a job decent enough to support myself so I didn’t have a choice I’m now in my second year of med school and I absolutely despise it I am barely studying so my grades are horrible but I somehow still find myself comparing myself to others around me even though I know I’m not doing my best I’m basically doing the bare minimum the plan is for me to apply to residency in the USA but that requires so much time and effort and I don’t know if I have the will or energy for that I think I’m depressed and I can’t stop thinking of all my friends who are living their lives traveling and studying something that doesn’t require as much effort as medicine I can’t really say any of this to anyone in my family and I don’t have many close friends I can confide in with something like this so I guess I just want some advice on how to deal with this because right now it just feels like I have to accept that I’m gonna be miserable for the next 10 years of my life