Chronic illness and strength dysphoria

I’m not even a man, I’m nonbinary transmasc. But just today I had my friends bf come do yard work for us, weed whacking my overgrown yard that is pretty much all weeds no grass. I tried to keep up without myself, but I just can’t. I have hEDS and vitamin deficiencies and tummy issues and probably other undiagnosed problems and I’m just all around kind of a shrimp. It made me feel so embarrassed, but especially as a masc person (even though I’m not even masc all the time, there are times where I feel fem and like being petite and cute and dainty and I wish I got to choose when). I feel pathetic. I can’t even take care of my own yard. I hate being weak!! I want to be able to the “boy chores”!