AITA Relationship Jealousy

So me and my husband got into a fight because he met a new female friend online. From what ive seen he's been messaging her mainly about our marriage and how we argue and fight all the time and I wasnt okay with that. She sent fire heart emojis and i took it the wrong way but, I confronted him about it. And of course we argued. He said i was a fucking idiot, a bitch, that i was dense, that i should get my head out of my ass, hung up on me a few times and stuff. I never really say those things to him if im going to be completely honest but... I wasnt in the right either clearly. He later said that he was jealous of this womans boyfriend and how he wishes I was sweet to him like her, or well in his words, had a sweet side to me like she did. Ive tried to let that go but it just doesnt work and is causing us problems. We are better now and its been a while but, I am honestly developing some sort of panic issue. Like this was the closest its been to him leaving me and i was obviously distraught but he just kept going... I feel like a complete jealous bitch for what I did and i dont know what to he literally wasnt cheating on me. I was upset with him for talking ill of me behind my back to someone I dont know. What do i do?