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My MIL lives in another country and is planning to stay with us for about 3 months this summer. My BIL (10 years older), who has been wheelchair-user since an accident 10 years ago, is also coming.

I want to be clear that I don’t dislike my BIL because of his disability. We just don’t have much in common and have never really bonded. He stopped working as well after his accident. I actually get along well with my MIL.

The issue is that our house is not wheelchair accessible. Since my BIL can’t easily get upstairs, we have to turn our main living room into his bedroom for the entire visit. That means losing our primary shared space for 3 months. No movie nights in the living room, no relaxing on the couch after work, and generally having much less privacy.

We also don’t have a downstairs shower, so whenever he visits we have to make alternative arrangements so he can shower somewhere accessible.

The last time they stayed, I found it exhausting. The house felt crowded and messy, and I really missed having my own space and routine. I haven’t lived with extended family in a long time, and I’ve realized how much I value having a quiet home.

What makes this more complicated is that before my wife and I bought our house, she and her brother weren’t particularly close. Because of that, we never expected him to visit for extended periods. Now it seems the expectation is that both my MIL and BIL will come every summer for around 3 months so they can spend time with my wife and escape the extreme heat where they live.

I understand why they want to come. My MIL is getting older, and my BIL’s disability limits his options. But if this becomes a yearly tradition, that’s a quarter of every year where we lose a significant amount of privacy and use of our own home.

I haven’t told them not to come. I’ve only told my wife that I’m uncomfortable with the length of the stay and the idea of this becoming an annual expectation.

My wife thinks I’m focusing too much on the inconvenience. I think it’s reasonable to want boundaries, even with family.

AITA?