Am I wrong for not wanting my husband to go to an international wedding 13 days after my C-section?

My husband is supposed to be a groomsman in a close friend’s wedding in Portugal on October 10. The issue is that I have a scheduled C-section on September 27, which means I’d be only 13 days postpartum when he’d need to travel.

To make things a little more emotional for me, my birthday is October 9, the day before the wedding.

I completely understand how important this friendship is to him. They’ve been friends for years, and I know being asked to be a groomsman is a big honor. If the wedding were a few months later, I wouldn’t think twice about encouraging him to go.

But I can’t shake the feeling that being home alone with a newborn, recovering from major abdominal surgery, while my husband is across the ocean for my birthday weekend feels wrong.

Part of me feels guilty because I don’t want to be the reason he misses such an important event. Another part of me feels like the first two weeks after a C-section and with a newborn are exactly when a spouse should be home.

For context: • This is a scheduled C-section, not a due date estimate. • The wedding is international, so it’s not like he could easily come home if something happened. • We also have a toddler. • We do have family support available, but it’s obviously different from having my husband there.

My husband is trying to decide now because the groom needs an answer.