Already eaten buldak noodles + 2 eggs 

Im financially irresponsible. Used to sell drugs when I was 16-21 for work, made decent money and never had to rely on a real job. Had no value for money, never had to flip a penny or look at prices. Reality never hit. Stopped doing coke cold turkey after daily use, spiraled into psychosis and went on to shut myself in for 3 years. Played League of Legends daily to cope with all the guilt, fear and shame I felt. 

September ‘25 started tackling my issues, working on myself and doing what I didn’t want to. Spent time in silence, walks outside, losing pounds, reading, writing. 

Long story short I had a job lined up for May but that didn’t happen, at the end of april i went drinking with a friend, we were 4 people at his apartment, 2 left and I was alone with the host. We drank a bit more and last thing i remember is a fight that broke out, we were arguing and scuffled on the ground, he dislocated both my shoulders yadeeyada … the job opportunity is obviously gone due to my shoulders and the need for PT, I live off my countries unemployement benefits and I just wanna get out of it. I just wanna work dude, I’m so sick of living off of basically 300€ a month. I want to move on man, i want to work a job and have that experience, meet new people, maybe travel a bit from the money i earn (like weekend trips). I just want to be independent and get all those experiences i denied myself because I was addicted to drugs. Now I gotta wait for my next doctors appointment in 1 1/2 months and see what the CT scan says and what he’ll suggest. The world doesn’t revolve around me, I just needed to vent   
 

Im so fucking broke and I hate it