Do people with BPD connect during sex or is it just to help regulate them?

So I know this caption seems a bit ignorant bc I’m sure they can do BOTH but… for the most part I mean, are they connecting? Or just regulating? I feel like my pwBPD uses it as a way to apologize after an episode and god forbid I say “no” and demand a conversation instead, he feels worthless and abandoned.

Idk what it is but he started dbt therapy and I SWEAR I thought things were finally getting better but as soon as they get “better” they get worse. His suicidal thoughts are at an all time high. Self harm and hatred for himself.

Am I staying for the sex? Don’t get me wrong. I love this man… but would I love him this much if I wasn’t the scapegoat of a narcissistic family? A desperate codependent?

WHY AM I STUCK. WHY DO I KEEP TELLING MYSELF ITLL GET BETTER.

ITS BEEN 15 YEARS!

Wow ok, so this turned into a lot more than my initial question. If you could answer all, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Much love. 🤍