“Should” statements and CBT

Someone else made a post about this recently, but I wanted to add to this.

CBT is just victim blaming (in my opinion) and can make clients detach from themselves and their instincts.

For example: My previous therapist wouldn’t allow me to use “should” statements. So, when someone actually did something harmful to me, the statement: “They should not have done that because of X” was unacceptable. Has anybody else encountered this?

I was told I simply “didn’t understand the purpose of the exercise” when I said it seemed like it totally overlooked accountability.
(ALSO my therapist was a Christian. Lady… your religion is literally FOUNDED on a bunch of ‘should’ statements (thou shalt not kill?))

CBT caused me to label a bunch of red flags in my relationships, community, and workplace as “cognitive distortions.”
Well… there came a point I couldn’t take any of it anymore, which resulted in my entire life falling apart.

When it came time for my therapist to name a moral wrong, it became an interpretation game and ‘let’s rewire you thinking.’ Honestly… that gives me 1984 George Orwell looking back.

All this to say: Listen to your gut. No, you probably aren’t being unreasonable.