My best friend of 10+ years has apparently been genuinely in love with me this whole time. I confronted him, he walked out, and now things are heavy. How do I navigate this?

My best friend and I have known each other for over a decade. Our friendship has always been full of banter and joking around. He is an introvert, but with me, he’s always been able to just drop the front, relax, and be himself.

Years ago he asked me out on a date. I shut it down because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship, and he completely respected that, saying he’d rather have me as a friend than lose me. My cynical brain just assumed that he was just casually trying his luck because we are so comfortable around each other.

Few years passed and He started asking about a date again I figured I was just a fun challenge to him since we have that playful, ball-breaking dynamic.

I know he has absolutely no problem dating; he is incredibly handsome and girls are always gawking over him, so finding women has never been an issue. He even introduced me to his girlfriends over the years. Whenever he brought around someone he was serious about, I always made an effort to be supportive, telling him she was really nice and a keeper.

Because I knew he had tried to flirt with me in the past, I would intentionally take a step back from our friendship to give them space. I genuinely didn't want to interfere or accidentally sabotage anything he was trying to build with someone else. But in the end, his relationships always fizzled out because he refused to fully commit or take the next step with them.

Recently, one of his guy friends pulled me aside and told me that he is constantly talking about me and is really fond of me and basically has me up on a pedestal. Then he begged me, "Please don't break his heart."

Hearing that is when everything finally clicked for me. Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place. The long, intense stares where I’d have to joke around to break the tension by saying "what are u staring at weirdo". The random kisses on the head. The "accidental" brush-ups against my hand, endless excuses to have some type of physical touch, and his constant need for my approval. I was completely blind to what those moments actually meant.

Because I was so caught off guard, I ended up bringing it up to him directly when we were in a private setting to ask if it was true.

Since he is not very vocal about his feelings, his immediate reaction was just to scoff and say, "This dude..." He didn't deny any of it. Instead, he looked at me and said, "What do you want from me? Do you want me to pour my feelings out for you?, I had never seen him this vulnerable and i guess neither one of us knew how to respond. Instead he just walked out and went home.

He seemed incredibly put on the spot and defensive, and now things feel heavy between us and I genuinely don't know what to do next.

Here is the issue: I’m a single mom. My daughter is my absolute number one priority. Years ago, I made a strict rule for myself: I am not introducing any man to her life, and I have completely written off having a romantic life until she is a full-blown adult and out of the house.

He has met my daughter before but Because of this, once I noticed years ago that he wanted more than a platonic friendship, I stopped bringing my daughter around him to protect that boundary.

My rule about my daughter stands. Because our bond is so deep, a part of me has wondered if some kind of exclusive, casual dynamic could work, but my rational brain knows that is a terrible idea. I know it wouldn't be fair to offer him anything casual or physical if his heart is fully invested. He deserves a conventional romantic relationship, and since I can't offer that right now, I know that crossing any physical lines would just cause massive problems, make him push for more, and ultimately break his heart. I am completely fine staying strictly platonic friends and leaving it at that, but I am terrified of losing him.

Guys who have been in his position: What is going through his head right now after that defensive reaction? If you were in love with your best friend, would a casual or limited arrangement just torture you more? How do I navigate this heavy situation and preserve our decade-long friendship?