aio: i want to breakup with my boyfriend bc i feel like he never backs me up when needed

for some background: a few months ago, my boyfriend was talking about proposing bc he feels ready to move onto that next level. for me, every box is checked minus the fact that i feel like i can never let my guard down around him. i did address this with him and mentioned that i would save it for later bc i would rather not embarrass either of us when ik i’m gonna have to say no due to that area not being met. he agreed to work on it and that’s that.

the time between then and now (6 months), i’ve seen no progress and more has happened. there was a situation where a lady hit me with her car while i was parked in a lot and, as i was checking the damages, she came up to me with her phone saying things like “look at her checking for tiny damages just to get my money”, “don’t damage my car now”, and “you’re crazy”. while all of this was happening, he didn’t say anything. i did try to ask for the woman’s name and insurance but she just kept yelling random things. it’s more frustrating bc he was complaining about her actions after the fact and told me that i should’ve never asked for her info bc she could always “cut out her yelling at me and only show me asking for her info”. idk, that doesn’t make sense. i talked about this with my friend and she said it’s probably bc the person involved was a woman and he didn’t want to get into it bc that might make him look bad since it’s “man vs woman” if he said anything.

i understood that but then on sunday, some woman flicked off his mom in a parking lot and he went straight towards her car. however, as he was walking towards her, she kept driving away. even with her driving away, he kept trying to approach her bc he wanted to confront her. he ended up not confronting her bc she drove out of the parking lot and left, but i’ve never seen him so upset before. like he was cursing up a storm and very angry.

there’s obviously more that has happened than these situations. i once had a campus stalker a few years ago and that resulted in being followed to my car. then there are a few situations where i had a few guys approach me in a very creepy way at my job and he would just sit there and watch. in certain situations, i would purposely raise my voice when i would say “i have a boyfriend” and do a hand motion to get him to come over but he wouldn’t do anything. he admitted that he just wants to see what i say. sometimes he’d be like “i feel like you could’ve said this instead”. then i remember one time a waitress was so beyond rude to me at this restaurant we went to and he was like “she wasn’t doing anything bad. it’s probably just how she talks”. stuff like that just makes me feel like my feelings are invalid.

we had a convo about everything and he said that he just never wants to get involved bc he doesn’t want things to escalate so he just lets me handle it bc nobody will escalate situations with a woman. it just makes me feel sm more stressed out but idk if this is me overreacting and not being understanding of his side or what.