Please help me i’m about to break.

I’m a PIMO 21F baptized at 18 who’s been born and raised in this religion. (typing this at a meeting as we speak lol).
I’ve had doubts about its teachings for probably a mf decade.
I moved out and did all the rebellious things my parents have no idea. I’ve been living a double
life for about a year and i have no idea how to escape. There’s a sister in my hall who i feel safe and close with who i really want to share my thoughts with.
I really just want to talk to someone about the governing body having an unusual amount of money, the blood transfusion, and the sex crimes.
I’ve been depressed for years and i thought moving out from my parents grasp would help. However, I’m living this double life so they don’t shun me… i want out im so depressed an anxious everyday. I have a secret bf as well who knows all about me being a witness and living a double life but he doesn’t know the doubts and stuff i have abt it. Should i express my thoughts with the sister? How do i fade out. How do i tell my family i want out but dont want to lose them either,