I (27F) have recently lost the desire to spend time with my best friend (28F) and want to hangout with others without her.

The title is a very vague description of what I am currently feeling.

Backstory:

My best friend and I have been friends for well over a decade. We grew up together and have been best friends since high school. I moved away to my husbands hometown (1 hour 30 away) and she ended up here a few years later bc her husband got a job here (this was our dream)! We have had the smoothest friendship. No fights, no fallouts, no issues ever really.

So the issue is this for me - we have grown separately it feels like. I am now a mom to multiple children. She doesn’t have any children. It is hard to do things with people who are inconvenienced by the reality of activities that are child friendly. Our incomes are also very different. We make a lot more money than them. In theory, this doesn’t matter to me. But lately it is affecting the way we hangout. Her and her husband never want to do anything that involves spending money. This is obviously challenging bc it affects the way we hangout. I work 50 hours per week. My husband and I have very little free time and want to enjoy ourselves when we do. Obviously this is hard to do when being friends with someone who doesn’t ever want to spend money on anything. Let’s also not mention all of the times my husband and I unwillingly/unintentionally spend a bunch of money on things that they end up enjoying without even offering to pay us back.

On top of everything, there is a more legitimate reason as to why I don’t enjoy hanging out with them lately. Her and her husband make fun of all of our friends in an immature way and talk badly about everyone, laugh at them, etc. It is becoming very draining for me. The comments are super immature and it does kind of make me feel like what do they say about us when we aren’t around? In general, I’m sick of the mean girl vibes, for lack of a better description, from both of them. They feel like bullies. Everyone loves them and thinks they’re the nicest people but they have no idea what they’re saying behind their backs.

For context of our friend group - we (my husband and I) have a lot of various friends in our life. His childhood friends, our college friends, and my best friend and her husband. My best friends husband is an extrovert and has befriended all of our friends via social gatherings. We all kind of mesh together now.

ADVICE WANTED:
The problem I want advice for is the fact that I want to spend time with other friends. I feel like I need space away from them. I want to hangout with our friends (i.e husbands childhood friends and college friends) without them, like we used to before they moved here, but it feels impossible. They are more or less close with those friends now, so it seems awkward to hangout with certain people and not include them. They also insert themselves immediately into everything. My friend will call ahead of time and say if you’re going to have so and so over, can you pick a weekend where we can come? She will also ask me to plan a time for us to see our college friends who live far away, so that they can come too.

Also they do have other friends that we aren’t really friends with (bc they never included us in plans with those friends) and they hangout with them without us.

It just feels like they have their own life and hangout with various people when they want to, but when I want to hangout with anyone I have to include bc they’re now decently good friends with all of our friends.

If you read this far thank you for your time.