Vent about my awful experience

This was my first pregnancy. Baby never made it past 6 weeks. Today was supposed to be my 8 week ultrasound. Anyway I got my hCG tested at 6 weeks and it was “in range” but too low based on the rabbit hole I went down. Long story short I was right and it was a MMC.

I booked my D&C for yesterday. Had no cramping or bleeding until the night before the surgery. Less than 10 hours than I was scheduled to have the D&C my body decided to start the natural MC process. I couldn’t believe how much blood was just pouring out of me and how horrible the pain was. At 6am my husband drove me to the hospital for the surgery, I wasn’t even sure if they would still do it. I told my surgeon and he was fine with it. I went to pee 10 minutes before they took me to the OR and passed the sac with baby in it. I guess I panicked and didn’t know what was happening and I flushed. I now feel so horrible and guilty about that. The D&C went as planned. We were going to do generic testing but I guess after passing the sac that’s not possible. My OB said I had a lot of tissue remaining when he did it. Now I’m anemic too.

Just overall such an awful and traumatic experience. I feel like there’s a hole in my heart and my life. So sorry to everyone who has experienced this. Just needed to put it into words somewhere I’m anonymous