Doing some self analysis on myself and why I relate to certain characters the way I do (MTF)

So, I’m trans, MTF. Figured this out around 20 and have been trying to figure myself out a lot since then. And fictional characters has always been a way for me to do so. I have a type of character I see myself in a lot, that being tomboy characters, usually with an attitude. Think Ryuko from Kill La Kill, Invisigal from Dispatch and Vi from Arcane. I think one of the reasons I connected so much with these characters that have the same kinda traits is not because of who I actually am, but moreso of what I could be/could’ve been.

Only recently has that really hit me how much being trans affected me who I am today, because it meant that I was born in the wrong body and the person I really am had to be buried away and the person that actually was there was just a weird husk that yeah, did have some of my traits, but was also completely dependent on others to have any form of proper definition because again, the real me couldn’t exist properly in a male body. But if she could’ve, if she was born the way she was meant to be born, I do think that those characters I relate to would’ve been me if I was born correctly. Hell even the way I was there were hints at that but again, they could never come out because this incorrect body blocked me from being the real me, which resulted in things like insecurity, anxiety, the embarrassment, shyness, etc.

I think in a way it’s like being able to look in a mirror of what could’ve been. Not entirely obviously, these are still fictional characters that live in fictional worlds that don’t reflect reality, but the roots of who they are would’ve been the same roots I had if I was born correctly.