Tea Ceremony Timeline and Must Haves

Hi all,

I, 30F white, and my fiancé, 30M Vietnamese, are starting to plan our wedding and we are stuck on how to plan our tea ceremony. His parents aren’t sure how to go about it either because they are only familiar with the traditional way of doing the ceremony.

We are planning on having it before the religious ceremony, but the day before the western wedding. The religious ceremony will be held at his parents church. My parents live over an hour away and it would be a major inconvenience for everyone to have his parents come up to their house only to drive an hour back to the church.

We were thinking of having it at his parents house, forgoing the gifts, and only serving the tea to our elders. Then we would head off to the church and a possible reception after.

He and I were wondering if anyone else had done something similar? Is this disrespectful to his culture? Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks!