the part of re-entry that wrecks me isn't the silence lifting, it's the phone in the parking lot

six courses in and the day 11 crash still catches me, just not where i expect. the euphoria then the irritability, that arc i can ride now. what i can't seem to outsmart is the screen.

the bit of guidance i blew off my first couple courses was to stay off the phone for a day after leaving. ten days of equanimity, i figured i was covered. then i checked messages in the center parking lot and watched a week of sensitivity flatten in maybe four minutes of scrolling.

so now it's one buffer day before work, no screen the first 24 hours, and the morning sit happens before anything else gets a vote. The course does its job by day 10. day 11 is the part that's actually on me.