Question involving future nieces/nephews

Hi! I didn’t know how to word the title, sorry 🤦‍♀️

In short- my question is has anyone else worried about their future nieces or nephews being cleft lip/palate? And how did you cope with that fear?

Long version- I’m cleft lip and palate both my parents aren’t cleft lip/palate and neither are my four sisters. I currently have 9 nieces and nephews that aren’t cleft lip/palate and don’t have any other birth defects.

The only thing my mom has told me that my cleft might be genetic is that someone from my dads side was born missing fingers. (This might not even be relevant to me being a cleft but is a slight hint that there might be birth defects somewhere down in the family line)

My fourth sister is going to start trying for children soon and I’m nervous about them being cleft lip or palate. I’m so grateful that none of my current nieces or nephews were born like me. (This is because I was bullied for my looks and had some pretty bad self-hatred growing up)

I think since she’s the last to have kids and that I’m not planning on having any, that I’m more particularly worried about hers being born cleft lip/palate.

My question is how do you guys cope with this fear if you have it too? I know it’s not that bad, but I just feel like if one of them is born a cleftie, then it’s like I’ll have to go through all it again myself. Because I’ll know what they’re gonna have to go through and how hard it is mentally. And instead of it happening to me, I’m gonna have to watch it happen to family this time.

I know I’m probably being irrational or dramatic, but I’m just a worrier. But as fellow clefties, I hope one of you can understand or maybe see where my head is at?

Have you guys had any nieces or nephews that were born cleft lip/palate? How is your relationship with them?

Did it affect your relationship with your siblings?

Have you ever brought up your fear about one of your nieces/nephews being cleft lip/palate to your siblings? How did you start that conversation if you did?