Alone in the world

Im a disabled woman living alone and not doing well. I am estranged from most of my family. I was trying to work a job the last 5 months and failed due to my disability issues. Im now waiting for government benefits and the agency involved isn't communicating with me.

I am unable to earn an income, and moved to an isolated community because I had a shot at stable housing. There are a lot of hours in the day to think about how isolated I am and how many years I have left without a lot to look forward to.

I tried to go out and volunteer last week, giving water to the homeless in the heat. It was really hard and did not break my isolation. Everyone was really depressed by the state of the homeless in our community, there's a big drug problem here and we saw a woman who really needs help and isn't getting any. Nobody was in any condition to hear about my problems on top of that.

I tried listening to buddhist videos about equanimity. That is, just dealing with life and staying calm despite what the universe hands to you. It helped a bit, i suppose. I also asked some Christian people for prayers. Im non religious but I sure feel the vacuum in my life of not having faith or community.

Im not looking for advice about volunteering or connecting with others. I know what the options are, they are just really hard for someone with the kind of anxiety and other ailments I have. I'm just seeking online solace.

Say hello if you know what it's like. Thank you