This happened a few days ago but I'm still ruminating

So every Sunday my boyfriend's mom cooks dinner for us. It's really sweet. Usually my bf and I will chill outside for a while and have a few drinks, then go inside and eat.

His friends also hang out around the apartment complex, and they are heavy stoners.

I don't smoke anymore, and haven't in over a year. The last two times I did, it made me super paranoid and uncomfortable, and I didn't smoke for another year before those instances. 

Well, I had probably too much to drink, and in my genius stupor I thought 'hell, why not?' 

Holyyyyy shit. I don't know if it was the combo or if was some STRONG stuff or if it was fucking laced or what. But I took only two small hits from his friends joint and I was GONE. I completely blacked out.

I remember going inside the apartment, but I don't think I even sat down to eat? Then I remember stumbling/running my way out of there because I was in such a disoriented panicked state, I didn't want to be around his parents or anyone. I remember sitting outside thinking I was genuinely dying; I called the POLICE on myself. I couldn't even speak over the phone, the words wouldn't come out. I'm not sure why I did that. I guess I wanted an ambulance? Someone to fix the situation? The dispatcher said he would send someone, but then 5 mins later I get a call from a random number, idk who it was, asking if I could just get an uber home. At that point my bf had also come out to check on me and I guess I thought I would get him & his friends in trouble, so I was like 'yeah whatever'. Thankfully they didn't send anyone. 

Then I puked my guts out sitting on the curb. I couldn't talk or walk or even move. My boyfriend helped move me to the backseat of my car, and I remember apologizing profusely and telling him to just go home and leave me alone, I didn't want him seeing me like that. Continued to puke out of my car door while in and out of consciousness laying in the backseat. He brought me water and I begged him to leave because I just wanted to sleep. Eventually woke up hours later in the morning and managed to get myself home.

Worst hangover of my life. I spent the entire next day sleeping. Perhaps just from alcohol poisoning at that point.

I'm just mortified. I hate feeling like I am not in control of myself, even worse if someone sees me like that. I think his friends saw me slumped over on the curb puking all over. Or in my car. He told me his mom asked what was wrong with me when I left, why was I stumbling around. I don't know what he told her and I don't want to know. 

The way I carry and present myself is very important to me. I just keep going over and over in my head what his parents and friends must think of me now. Also that 911 call exists somewhere and I gave them my full name. wtf. I'm too old for this shit I feel so trashy

At any rate I am highkey traumtized and never touching that shit again!!! 

greened out & I'm so embarrassed