Im trying to get on disability. I want to give up.

I got denied. This is my first tine applying and I know its most likely the case to get denied the first few times but i also reached out to a disability attorney. They said they couldnt help. I want to work. I really do. Maybe I should just...keep trying.

Ive managed to maintain employment for a year or so before so maybe I can do it again. I have fibromyalgia but its fairly mild. I sometimes need a cane but not always.

My real problem is DID, PTSD, and Anthropophobia. Interacting with people I dont know for more than an hour makes my Fibro act up. When i was working I constantly had to call out. I only went mahbe 70% of the time and it was causing me to burn out so heavily I would be litterally bed bound for days. Still i went in whenever I could in any way. And the only reason I was able to do 70% of the time was because my partner was able to help me get ready before work (getting clothes helping me out of bed etc). I hated calling out. And i hated how other employees treated me because I couldnt do as much work as they could. I found something I was decent at. Worked as a paraprofessional in schools and I was really good at it howevwr I couldnt do it more than a few times a week and even then it cost me a LOT physically. Still I enjoyed it and it felt fulfiling.

I am considering going back to doing that maybe once or twice a week but I dont want to put that extra stress on my partner again he doesnt deserve that but I also domt want to be on disability honestly. I want to take this as a full rejection and just get back to work and juat do something about it. Before my issues were this bad I was such a capable person.

I was going to college for marketing and had fortune 500 companies offering me full time positions after graduation. Though i doubt they'd have offered if they knew how disabled I am. Still, I want to be that capable person. I AM that capable person arent I? I want to get better and be able to contribute SOMETHING again.

Really I dont want to get on disability but everyone says I need to. All the mental health and medical professionals and all my past employers, my entire family and all my friends highly encourage it. I dont want to. I want to be able to work. I hate this. I feel like a societal and financial drain on everything around me.