Is this normal?

We have 2 kids 1, and 2 (13 months apart). I'm a stay at home mom, and my husband is a cop. He thinks everything at home falls on me. On his days working I don't expect anything of him, but his 4 days off I expect him to be present, and helpful with our kids. He is anything but that. He's never given them a bath on their own, wouldn't even know what to feed them for meals. He will only help if I ASK and I have to make sure I don't have a tone, even when I'm really overwhelmed. If we get into a fight or he thinks I'm not being "nice" he refuses to help with our kids. Ontop of that, on days off he's always scheduling things for himself, and TELLS me what he's doing. Meanwhile I have to ASK to have a shower, or go to the grocery store!! I know I signed up to be a sahm but this feels incredibly unfair. Am I delusional? Is this normal behaviour for a working father?