ADHD? Autism? Anxiety? WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME??

How do I act like a normal human being?? I’m so frustrated with myself! I just started college and I feel so far behind, I can’t even talk and my mind literally goes blank when someone’s talking to me and everyone in my class seems so confident and eloquent when they speak. My vocabulary is extremely limited and I use a lot of filler words, I talk really slow because I’m just trying to think of the right words to say and even then I say all the wrong things and start to mumble nonsense until I shut up when I realize how stupid I sound.

I can only speak in short sentences and it takes me forever to get to the point of whatever I’m talking about, I constantly trip over my words and speak in a monotone voice and I forget what I’m talking about multiple times while I’m in the middle of talking. I don’t have a problem with looking people in the eyes but when I do I get distracted and tune out everything they’re saying like “which eye should I look at?.. oh they have a mustard stain on their shirt” and even when I’m looking them in the eyes I can’t focus on anything they’re saying.

I’m always anxious, I feel exhausted talking to people,