I refused to give money to my aunty so she gave me the cold shoulder

Growing up I lived in a joint family (sadly part of my culture). My aunty lived with us along with her two kids. She didn’t work so she was on job seekers, she also received child benefit. However she never contributed at home and was basically living with us for free. She never took care of her children, they were raised by my parents, and my uncle and his wife. My aunty was very spoilt and pampered all her life and she always got what she wanted. My parents would get her kids ready for school, feed them, bathe them (when they were babies), charge their nappies (not once did she change her babies’ nappies) and buy anything they needed.

My aunty never spent a single penny on her kids, she would use her money on shopping but never on her kids. My grandmother was basically the ‘boss’ of the family so everyone had to obey her.

My aunty would spend all day on her computer talking to men and then introducing them to her kids as their possible ‘new dad’.

And instead of being grateful that her brothers and their wives were fulfilling her responsibilities, she would cause trouble at home and talk shit about everyone to my grandmother who always favoured her. She caused a lot of fights at home and then she would play innocent.

She always ‘borrowed’ money from her brothers for her personal shopping when she ran out of her own. But never did she ever return the money.

Thankfully my parents and I moved out when I was 8.

She moved out with her kids when they were preteens. And then she started to play the victim, she would tell me and my cousins that everyone hated her and bullied her. That was all lies as I’ve witnessed her behaviour myself.

She borrowed money from my parents but when I was a child she would often try to turn me against them. Eventually they stopped lending her money.

She started borrowing money from me ever since I started working.

She has always made poor financial choices her entire life. Now she is still on benefits and she receives about £1600 a month which she wastes on unnecessary things.

She paid for a weight loss treatment which she didn’t need as per doctor’s advice (she is just a bit overweight). She was advised to work out by the doctor but she decided to pay for a treatment from a clinic with bad reviews because she said she can’t be bothered to work out. She paid thousands of pounds and it was ineffective. It turned out to be a scam.

She likes to own the most expensive things like the latest iPhone and iPad. She has a drawer with charges her mobile and has wifi connection. I didn’t even know these existed. She is now a grandmother and she is planning to throw two lavish parties for her grandchild’s first birthday. She booked a hall for that. She doesn’t have the money for it so I advised her to just celebrate it at home with close family. Besides most people she invited can’t really attend due to other priorities. She refused and expected me to lend her some money.

She is constantly borrowing money from me and I have always lent it to her without question. But this time I refused and she started giving me the cold shoulder. She then said that ‘your own relatives abandon you at your time of need’ and ‘everyone shows their true colours when you need help’

That really pissed me off because I’ve always helped her financially even though she has always been financially irresponsible. I feel that she is selfish and ungrateful.