Am I overreacting or is the friend group leader 31M lowkey sabotaging everyone?

Okay I genuinely need outside opinions because I’ve never seen this kind of dynamic before and it’s starting to feel ummmm kind of off LOL
So me and my boyfriend are part of a friend group where one guy (let’s call him Sam) is basically the “leader.” He’s super outgoing, plans everything, always the center of attention, very social, throwing house parties etc etc.
He lives with two guys: CHARLIE AND ED. All these people are 31 btw
Here’s the weird part:
Charlie is objectively doing better than Sam in most ways better looking, better job, better education, richer family, and he gets girls very easily. They’ve been best friends since childhood and still live together.
But I’ve personally heard Sam tell multiple girls not to date Charlie Not jokingly , like actually discouraging it. At the same time, he makes comments about Charlie being “unhygienic” or subtly puts him down.
It honestly feels like he’s trying to block Charlie without being obvious about it.
Then there’s Ed.
Sam acts weirdly… involved in Ed’s life. Like constantly giving advice about his relationship, telling him what to do with his girlfriend, etc. Ed kind of listens to him like a right-hand man.
But ever since Ed got a girlfriend, Sam seems lowkey bothered by it. Like you can tell he doesn’t like that Ed isn’t as available to him anymore all the time. He was advising ed to slow down while ed wants to move in with his gf of 2+ years
And then there’s this pattern with the whole group:
\-He checked two friends’ locations when they stayed over at each other’s place and was like “why aren’t they telling me they’re dating?”
\-He tried to get the whole group involved in convincing Charlie not to get a dog
\-He needs to know what everyone is doing, who’s seeing who, etc.
\-He subtly influences how people view each other behind the scenes
It’s like he wants to stay at the center of everything and gets weird when people form connections that don’t go through him.
Also and idk if this is relevant he’s 31, has never had a relationship, the last time he ever engaged with a girl was just asking for her no. like 5 years ago lol , he's also probably a v\*rg\*n and comes from a very conservative/homophobic background (he isnt, his family is). His social media is also very curated/image-focused.
So I’m trying to understand this behavior:
Is this just:
\-insecurity + jealousy of his friends?
\-a control thing because he built his identity around being “the leader”?
Or is this something deeper where he’s threatened by people forming closer bonds (especially romantic ones)?
At what point does this go from “quirky friend group dynamic” to actually toxic?
Because from the outside it genuinely feels like he subtly undermines people’s relationships to keep control of the group.
Would love honest takes because this is starting to affect how I view him or am I over reacting?

Edit: i live an hour drive away from my bf and my bf the other day told me that he was asking him ' why did he choose to date a girl who lives 60 mins away when he could have found someone who lives closer, my bf shut it down but this does scare me for our future that this enmeshment will only increase.