Friends with benefits & self discovery

Background: known for one month, met twice, and don’t text often, only when we’re planning on meeting/trying to find a day. We’re both 19.

I’ve never done a fwb and the reason I’m exploring this is because I want to discover myself this year and find who I am, what I like, don’t like, passions, life purpose, etc. For my fwb he’s doing this just for pleasure, he’s already stated he doesn’t want anything committed, no dating, no time consuming. This clearly answers my question but I’m naïve and I just want to hear your thoughts. I genuinely admire his independence, creativity, passion, uniqueness, and his ability to live his life seeing the beauty in life. Because of this I want to build a deep friendship more than just sexual. I enjoy our fun times but I want to have deep conversations with someone who understands me and that’s what we did the other night. The issue is that he brought up hookups and asked me my thoughts, I told him my reason (stated above) and he said something along the lines of “well now do you feel like you can be free and go out into the world” which tells me he is trying to set me free. He also said his thoughts and said “idk I feel bad because….idk” and kept cutting himself off before he could finish. Also important to note that he said he enjoys talking more than actually hooking up and I told him I agreed. He then said “I still find you attractive though”, which to me signals that he either wants to just end things or that he wants someone to talk to rather than just hooking up. I texted him after we met and said “Also this might just be me overthinking but I got the vibe from the chat we had that you wanted to end things?” He still has not answered which makes me nervous because I really don’t want things to end, he’s a really cool guy and I want to be his friend. I think I want an emotional connection, someone to talk to about life, someone that will tell me about their day and vise versa, and I haven’t told him these things I want but I’m afraid of telling him because he might push away because he might not be emotionally available. I’m really stuck because I know I can find someone else but it’s extremely hard when everyone just wants one night stands and no genuine friendship. What should I do I’m really lost and want to find myself but also have someone to be with me in this self discovery journey.