Ckd and poly substance abuser,

I am 40y female I have ckd stage five really not sure how I ended up at stage five from the get go..I have staghorn kidney stones my right kidney way one big stone when they took it out a month ago and now I've formed a stone clogging my left kidney so they put a nephrostomy tube in and I guess it's a life thing now. So I have people willing to donate me a kidney but what I've been reading is since in my file it says poly substance abuser that they won't do the transplant even though I have people willing to donate ..since im not the perfect candidate they won't, they are just going to let me die. Am I missing something I feel so cheated but then I see that people a lot younger then me has had and has had to deal with this. Im dying is all I can think. My boyfriend wants sex I don't feel sexy at all nor do I want sex but he still wants it once a day. I feel so alone my son who is twenty this month what do I tell him or my mom. I don't think I have a year left. Im not sure what to do about anything but go hide in a tent by the river.