Yall ever wanna just disappear?

I’m a little high right now so I’m sorry. But do yall ever wanna just disappear? Even when life is amazing and everything seems to be looking up? Like ur actually building your future?
I have an amazing boyfriend, I’m starting college, I got out of my parents house, I’m getting my license, like everything seems to be getting so much better. But I’m still laying here at night, wishing I could disappear. I’ve wondered how bad it’d actually affect everyone if I did.
I don’t understand why I can’t just let go of this feeling, I’ve thought about leaving my boyfriend out of guilt, that hes with someone who still feels this way even when things are great.
I’d never actually do it though, I love him too much and I KNOW he loves me and doesn’t actually view me like I view myself.

I just wanna disappear tho, I don’t know why.