Turns out I've been using the wrong muscle

So I've had a contentious relationship with my anus ever since I accidentally gave myself an anal orgasm with a toothbrush handle.

Main issue is no matter the depe breathing, pose, or foreplay...my sphincter has just been supernaturally tight. My fwbs that lean a bit rougher seem to enjoy it, but in a more casual connection seemingly up to chance.

Either self-induced or with a partner, I seemingly have very high limit of how much I can take, but just can't seem to master letting them in.

When I've consulted the master bottoms I've routinely received consistent advice: relax, foreplay, lube, push out.

Lol and behold I've been pushing out with my sphincter as if it has a different effect than clench. Had no idea pushing pushing out with the lower stomach was what everyone meant.

Turns out I've