Rant about sucking at socializing

Jesus Christ if you have a problem with me, just communicate like an adult and tell me so we can work things out. Don't awkwardly ignore me and leave me guessing and trying to lie to myself that maybe I'm not the problem in hopes I feel less anxious about trying to talk to people. (I'm always the problem. It's never something else, contrary to all the websites that tell you to think about every other possibility why someone's appearing to ignore you to stave off the anxiety of having accidentally made yet another person hate my guts while trying to socialize correctly).

Also, do NOT lie to me and tell me everything's okay between us when it's not. Actually despicable behavior.

(advice, support, whatever appreciated. I just want to have friends I can trust won't start hating me on a moment's notice)