Starting the conversation.

In my opinion it is not a good idea to “convince” your wife, she is an adult and your life partner. She will ultimately make her own decision, and your role as a husband is to listen, understand her concerns, and provide the support she needs to make an informed choice. You know her, the question is: what does she need? 

We haven't taken the plunge yet, but before we had our first conversations I asked for advice to other Women, Bulls and cucks for advice. The best advice I ever received was from a young woman. Her advice was the one that helped me the most to start and advance our conversations, and understanding how to create the best conditions for her to reach her own decision.

The advice she gave me was very simple and I want to share it:

"Well, the concept of how it was introduced to me and what made me willing to give it a try was based around three steps at the start:

1. safety/control

2. wanting it for me rather than just wanting it for him

3. using it as an addition rather than just a replacement 

The first thing that made it okay, made me even consider it, was a clear reassurance that I was in control of the speed in which anything happened, and that the first and foremost concern was that I, and we, would be alright no matter what happened with this. Introducing an outside element can be very disruptive to a relationship. I needed to feel like I wasn't being pressured, wasn't being pestered. An option would be put on the table, "hey, can we watch interracial porn while we do XYZ?" That would be the extent of the amount of push I got at the start, no begging, no "just try it for me, etc etc." I always felt like I got to choose if I wanted to engage or not.

The 2nd step was a commitment to my pleasure and my enjoyment. It wasn't just a wish fulfillment scenario, something that he wanted to see happen, but rather something that he genuinely felt would be amazing for me, not just in terms of how the sex would feel, but all the things that circle that. being desired, having control, taking charge, and so on. I would not have done it solely because it was his fetish, it had to be something that I felt would be good for me as well. Reinforcing that curiosity, that spark, is key.

Finally, my biggest fear was that it would replace something that I was already satisfied with. I didn't want to torpedo a relationship just because the sex would be better. I wanted to make sure that I could still have all of the things I loved about my relationship and this was an add-on, rather than something it would all revolve around. Eventually, as time went on, I had the power to choose the balance of how much the tone of our relationship would change, but at the start, the biggest thing to get over (besides the safety concerns) was the fear of changes in a way that was detrimental.”

Would add to her advice?