How do I stop feeling guilty for only coming back to Allah swt during hard times?

I grew up with a very practicing muslim family in the Middle East, when we moved to North America for the first time I was 10 and with that I slowly went away from my religion because I associated it with repression.

For the past year I’ve slowly gotten back to doing more research individually and relearning Islam, separating it from culture and religion. I’m someone who has a lot of questions and always wants to know the why behind things and for my family that means I am doubting Allah swt so that pushed me away.

Recently I went through a huge problem. I haven’t been praying properly in a very long time but the past few months I felt as though Allah swt was calling upon me and I started making dua. All my prayers were answered and it renewed my confidence. Through this recent problem, my best friend just told me to cry and break down but do it in sujood. Today, I prayed twice both maghrib and Isha voluntarily and I balled my eyes out. My tears couldn’t stop and I just made dua for 40 minutes.

Inshallah I want to continue praying, getting closer to Allah but I have a lot of guilt inside me that all my previous sins make me a bad person a bad Muslim. I’m also afraid that since others know my sins I can never be better and it’s hard living in a secular world. I also feel guilty that I’m only coming to Allah swt now after I’ve been left heartbroken and depressed.

All that to say I’m so thankful for my friend for pushing me towards Allah swt. I hope everyone here finds friends who do the same, and becomes those friends in others lives.

How can I navigate this guilt about only coming to Allah during hard times?