11 years on to the day from our first date and one year from my original post. An update

https://www.reddit.com/r/Waiting\_To\_Wed/s/Lf22Myrjh7

I just wanted to post an update to my original post a year on. It has all taken a while but I’m here in my room, early in the morning, having a coffee and he is in his. The house is sold, we’ve both purchased new places, we move in July.

It’s been difficult, I’ve grieved ( a lot), he has too in his own way, but I’m really excited about the future. My new place is smaller, needs work and the garden is a blank canvas. I’ll get there.

Numerous times, there have been crisis talks ‘what are we doing, let’s stay together, we love each other’ but each time his response in the following days was so underwhelming, so lacklustre, so thoughtless, that it solidified my resolve that this was the correct path.

He has always had real problems around sex and intimacy and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about attachment styles this last year which has really explained a lot. He’s a classic avoidant. I can’t believe I didn’t see it for so long. I just filled in the gaps and kept us powering on.

He said to me recently that he’s not capable of meaningful change. Great to hear, would have been better five years ago, but here we are.

We’ll stay friends in as much as we’ll share the dog and respect each other. I think he’s excited about disappearing back into the life of a bachelor where no one makes any emotional demands of him.

It’s been a couple weeks at least now since I’ve cried or felt truly sad about the situation although I’m expecting another wave of grief after the move.

For now, everything feels right. Have a lovely day ❤️