Will I ever be loved with bpd?

I’m 24 and have been in 9 relationships, 6 of those being after high school, at least 4 lasting about a year or more. I’ve constantly been told my idea of love is a fantasy. All I want is someone to be there for me when I need them, and by that I mean someone who can be there when I’m crying over when they (s/o) hurt my feelings, and not over small things but genuinely rude comments or hurtful words. I know when I was younger I lashed out over nothing or stupid things, but now I’m able to keep my cool when being triggered, at least until I’m pushed to a breaking point. Sometimes I can last an hour of people pushing me, sometimes ten minutes. I know I’m not the best and I say hurtful things back, but I’ve gotten better. I don’t get personal anymore, I still yell and cuss, and say general hurtful statements (saying you’re an asshole, fuck you, things along those lines). And I know those things aren’t right but I’m working on them. But when I express my feelings I’m only met back with people trying to spin it on me, saying I’m too sensitive or saying it’s my bpd, or bringing up my past. I explain them with what was said, how it made me feel, and why it was wrong. They still get angry at me though. Will anyone ever be willing to hear me out and love me?