How to not cry when leaving the Philippines after visiting my wife

The title says it all flying back to Hawaii tomorrow night from Manila and my crying and panic attacks always start 48-72 hours before it’s time to go to the airport. We have been together 5 years now married for almost 2, have had our Spousal visa approved and are now in the NVC stage (docs approved Jan 9). I usually come here to visit Philippines 🇵🇭 every 3-4 months, basically whenever I can get a week or more off from work at a time. Even though we could be included in this month’s interview letters next month at the latest I just want my blood pressure to go to normal and stop crying about leaving all the time 😞. Does anyone else feel this? The 3 hardest parts of the return trip for panic attacks are:

1. Going into the airport terminal in Manila
2. Airplane lands in Hawaii and parks at gate
3. Getting into bed alone at home 😞

I took steps to alleviate some of it this time like picking a flight that departs late at night and arrives at 10am in Hawaii as coming into sunlight will hopefully make it hurt less. Also a 16 hour connection in Seoul so time to nap. One advantage I have of living in Hawaii is the strong Filipino community there and Aloha spirit that doesn’t exsist on the mainland. Is anyone else in the same spot as this? Would be really appreciated to have others going through this and people supporting guys talking about their mental health