Made the wrong choice

Earlier today I made a post how I was going to celebrate my 20yr anniversary with my wife soon. Well I think I just torpedoed the happiness.

I have been working towards a career that I really enjoy. One that I take a lot of pride in and keeps me involved in an activity I gave up when I was young and dumb. (Still dumb) I was given a chance to work at a higher level this fall, but to do this I have to go to a training this summer. Problem is, my best friend is getting married the same weekend.

I have been trying to figure out if I can do both, and the supervisor caught wind of me asking around and decided I wasn't dedicated enough and let me go. This comes on the heels of a tough spring where I didn't get the promotion in another area I have been working for.

My wife is furious that I even thought about going to the wedding. She has sacrificed time with me, taken on extra with our kids, and has been the best cheerleader I could've hoped for. We talked a month ago when I lt looked like this could be a conflict and she warned me that this could be a Possibility. Turns out she was right and now she is looking at me like I just chose my friend over ky career. We are supposed to renew our vows next week and she just told me she doesn't want to, that she cannot recommit to someone that would make such a selfish decision.

I can't even argue with her, I was trying to do the right thing for our family, chosen family that supports us, by supporting him back. Now, she won't go to his wedding, won't go to our renewal, and is thinking about ending us.

I've made a LOT of mistakes in this relationship. A thousand more than she ever has. I didn't examine all the angles, and didn't listen to her. I am stubborn and now she feels like she has wasted years of her life.

I've torched the only good decision I have ever made by not thinking enough. I am a bad friend, a horrible husband, and a mediocre father.

I was blindly happy 12 hours ago.