have no friends or family to care about my birthday now

today was my 18th birthday and none of my friends wished me. i didn't really expect them to remember because i usually forget people's bdays until i see their instagram stories, but i always wish them on their birthdays when i see that it's their birthday. anyway, i posted a picture of me dressed up on my close friends story hoping people would connect the dots with the date and the picture, but still no one did. i felt like i was begging for attention and i still didn't get any.

i just feel really lonely after graduating from high school and finishing my first year of college. it's like a weird limbo where i'm not close enough with my hometown friends to properly reach out (they ignored me when i tried reaching out over spring break) and plan something for my birthday, but none of my college friends even know my birthday. i feel so awkward being home for the summer. most of my hs friends went to a college in my hometown so they made a bunch of friends that already live around here, and they got to keep hanging out with their hs friends. now that it's summer, i feel like such a beggar if i ask to hang out with them because they'd rather be hanging out with their new college friends.

even though all of my family wished me, we went out for dinner and i just feel like my extended family didn't really gaf. we've always been close and had family get-togethers frequently, but ever since i went to college, i feel like it was all just because of proximity and they never actually cared about me. when i came back for the summer, they kept asking me when i'll go back to college because they kept forgetting i wasn't only visiting home for the weekend this time. i know i'm purposefully thinking negatively and misconstruing it, but it feels like they're just waiting for me to go back to college and don't even want me here. i really don't want to sound ungrateful or like everyone needs to care about trivial things like this, but it really upset me today. it even feels like they put less effort into their gift for me this year; they gave me cash but it was even less than in previous years, and idk i thought it would be different since this is a milestone birthday and all. last year, they at least chose out an actual gift.

on the plus side, i'm grateful for my immediate family and they have been great to me ever since i left for college, but yeah it's just kind of lonely when no one has a reason to care or pretend to care anymore. i hope next year i can make closer friends at college.