Holding out for the day

I miss the number four, though he lingers just beyond my door, begging for more, begging for me to become like him, as any child missing her mother might, but I’m stubborn and try to put up the fight to stay human & alive, I miss him so, wonder how he’s been doing, but maybe.. having me as his momma was just too much for him, he needed a more free spirit type of living, maybe he needed to look out for me, because of my past affiliations and not being pulled all the way in. Anyhow, all I know is it’s his birthday and I love him more than words can express. I’m drowning in the thought of someday seeing him again. But also so anxious I could not live to see another day. I know when my time comes, he’ll come and take me away.