I've been setting boundaries all year and I'M TIRED

It still feels both new and fucking foreign to me and my body still feels the rush from today. Boundaries I set so far this year!?

yesterday? I told my birthgiver that she didn't wish me a happy anniversary and it hurt my feelings. Please know that when you survive narcissistic abuse this feeling is common i guess,

my aunt that I used to be close to? I used to talk to? I used to talk to her 2 times a week or so for about 10-40 ish minutes because that's all my nervous system could handle because she gossiped a lot and seemed negative. She told me that if we're only going to talk 2 times a week then we shouldn't talk and I said okay blocked her and kept it moving (I did grieve heavy because she was a childhood best friend),

I let an ex friend of 4 years have the last word and went silent (she was emotionally and psychologically abusive),

now I had someone in my life? I felt i couldn't trust her after 1 1/2 years so i let her go even if my gut is wrong. This shit is a lot. Learning to trust yourself after years of pain, gaslighting and pattern recognition is a lot.