Rebuilding after 2 decades of marriage

After years of marriage, I am facing the end of my relationship.

My husband has been unfaithful and dishonest over a long period of time. I stayed in the marriage longer than I probably should have because I was trying to keep my family together and kept hoping things would improve.

I am a conservative Muslim mother and a stay-at-home mum. I spent many years prioritising my husband’s life, studies, and career progression while putting my own career and needs aside. I now need to rebuild my life and become financially independent after a long time out of the workforce.

I am raising three children, including two who are on the autism spectrum, so stability and structure are especially important right now.

I am based in South Africa, so I am specifically looking for local advice around divorce, maintenance/spousal support, and rebuilding after long-term marriage breakdown.

I am trying to rebuild my confidence, find stable employment, and figure out who I am outside of being a wife.

For those who have rebuilt after a long marriage ended, what helped most in the first year?

What practical steps made the biggest difference when starting over from a very dependent position?

What do you wish someone had told you when you were starting over?