Am i messed up?

Okay so please whoever is here reading this i hope u don’t judge me. F19 and M30 okayy ik it’s a huge age gap but idk i feel like i’m being groomed or idk i’m jst so confused and anxious abt this relationship. I really do wanna end up marrying with the person but idk i feel like there’s imbalance in power and relationship dynamics and idk if i actually show continue or what because of lots of things it’s kind of being toxic ig so idk like what exactly should i do