A diary of an alcoholic.

I was shaking all morning. I still had to go to work. Benzos helped a bit. I didn't eat shit. Body is not hungry anymore ? It took a lot to get back to normal hydration level. Stomach is full somehow. But it was the night i dreaded. The urges were to high. Took one more benzo not to have crazy withdrawal. I was ready for insomnia. Around 3 am, I tried to fall a sleep. Crazy nightmares. My brain was showing me each and everything that I fear. That i am scared of. I even dont remember whether I slept or not.

Day 2 : I am numb, a feeling of dread and at the same time of bit of peace. My whole body is aching. I have no idea how many nutritions are missing from my body. Its miracle i am still functioning. Not gonna lie, waking without a bottle next to me was kind of peaceful. Oh I brushed my teeth after a long time. That was okay if not win. I ran out of good benzos. So I will just try to survive on purr luck.

Addiction ,any, is really weird. It might be fun for a while, after that its hell with substance. Its hell without substance.