Does anyone else not want to do anything in their free time anymore??

I lost my Dad in October of last year. My grief was a bit delayed in a way-- I was trying my best to focus on college to get my mind off of things (in hindsight, I should have taken a break).

Now, during summer break, I get genuinely angry when I'm at home on days off from work with nothing to do. But I don't feel like doing anything either. I go out and exercise just to avoid being stuck at home with my thoughts. I was never like this before losing my Dad. I would make art. But now my biggest supporter of my art is gone, so everything comes out wrong or sloppy when I try to draw again. Even when I try to draw for fun and not focus on making things look good, I get angry and quit.

I just want my Dad back, he was always so proud of me when I would draw. Now nothing looks right and I never finish anything... and I feel like I'm letting him down.

I don't want to watch TV, play video games, read, or anything else either. I'm so tired and I just want to sleep. Maybe because I'd get a chance to see my Dad in my dreams. Or maybe because I can't stand being awake and being stuck at home feeling this way.

I'm just wondering if anybody else feels like this-- like your hobbies or skills are ruined because of your grief? I hope I'm not alone and it'll pass eventually...