NICU time sucks. I miss my younglings so much, I can't even sleep.

My heart can't take anymore of leaving my babies behind in NICU. They'll be discharged today after 4 days of being there. They had low birth weight and my mum recognized signs of jaundice right after I brought them up to our room in the hospital to meet her.

I always thought I'd be staying up at night tending to babies and not staying up to miss them because they're in NICU and away from me.

I transfered them to a specialist neonatal hospital with level 4 NICU and really great staff after birth, they were bottle feeding and breathing room air but just needed to top up on the weight and treat the jaundice, so only needed level 1 care. Also the hospital is close to me.

I go in to do the 10am and 4pm feeding everyday and spend some time with them. But, Wednesday night I could barely sleep. When I saw them yesterday morning, I stayed a little longer after feeding. I was happy to see they had finished phototherapy too and the boy already hit the weight target, baby girl one point short, but she eats well so I'm going to be able to take her today too. Yesterday's 4pm feeding I stayed the longest. At night, I slept on and off, stayed up a lot. Even had breakfast at 1am 🤣.

Just watching this clock like a hawk now for 9:30 so I can head over there and bring them home.